God never commanded His people to be nice.
He commanded them to be kind.
Niceness is a social construct shaped by culture and approval. Kindness is covenantal, flowing from the nature of God Himself. The Scriptures do not instruct believers to pursue popularity or social ease. Instead, they call the people of God to imitate divine character.
As written in Ephesians 4:32, believers are exhorted to be “kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” The command is not sentimental. It is theological. Kindness reflects the mercy extended by God through the Messiah.
In biblical thought, kindness is active goodness. It is moral strength expressed with grace. It seeks the real good of another, not merely their emotional comfort.
Nice avoids tension.
Kindness speaks truth in love.
Niceness says, “I do not want conflict.”
Kindness says, “I care enough to risk discomfort so that truth may heal.”
The wisdom tradition affirms this plainly. Proverbs 27:6 declares, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Correction, when rooted in love, is not cruelty but faithfulness. Likewise, the wisdom preserved in Sirach teaches that honest rebuke guards a soul from ruin, while silence born from fear abandons it.
Niceness often preserves peace externally while allowing destruction internally.
Kindness intervenes.
Niceness watches someone walk toward ruin and remains silent to avoid being disliked.
Kindness warns, restores, and calls back to life.
This distinction is seen clearly in the life of Yeshua the Messiah. In Luke 19, He entered the temple and overturned the tables of corruption. The act was disruptive, yet righteous. It was not driven by anger alone but by zeal for the holiness of His Father’s house. By modern standards, it was not nice. By biblical standards, it was holy love protecting what was sacred.
Scripture never presents kindness as weakness.
Kindness is strength submitted to God.
And this is why kindness is named among the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22. It is not a personality trait or social skill. It is the evidence of transformation by the Ruach HaKodesh, the Holy Spirit.
A person may be nice and still compromise truth.
But a follower of Adonai cannot walk faithfully while abandoning kindness.
Therefore the real question is not whether you are liked.
The question is whether your life reflects Yeshua, the Son of the living God, whose love was tender yet truthful, merciful yet unyielding toward what destroys His people.